The other side of AppRegret…. AppGuilt
…so it is probably two years since my first AppRegret post and since then I have complained grumpily about a plethora of crappy, overpriced or half-assed apps. But today I talking about a different flavour of AppRegret.
Mostly AppRegret strikes when you spend money you don’t have on an app only to find out that it is bolloc…er… not fit for your purposes, but sometimes you drop a bunch of cash on an app and it is beautiful, and functional, and well designed and lovingly coded and does everything it is supposed to do, and yet you just can’t get into it, you open it up, play about with it, close it down, and never use it again.
Or, to be more exact, you reinstall/open it every six months out a sense of duty and guilt, and because there was that one app (that one time) that you opened up after some time and fell in love with. Mostly though they just sit there, either on your idevice or in your ‘purchased’ list on the app store, and make you feel bad. And so I dub this flavour of AppRegret “AppGuilt”, because you still regret them, but it isn’t their fault.
I have a few theories about these apps, why do they become consigned to the Great Unopened.
1. I am too stupid to understand what they do. Yes, probably. These are the ones worth opening every 6 months to see if my understanding has caught up sufficiently to use them.
2. I understand and appreciate the app, but somehow it’s “way of doing stuff” doesn’t fit in with my workflow.
3. It is a great app, but the sound just isn’t something I would use.
4. Essential feature missing (usually AB/ACP for me)
5. Every time I open the app I am given a sharp electric shock to my junk and now I have a bad association.
Obviously AppGuilt apps are more guilt-making the more they cost, or the more you like the Dev, or the more everyone else likes it. In other words if the app cost $1, the dev is a git and everyone else hates it then you are unlikely to experience AppGuilt. But if the app cost you $30, the Dev is someone you know and like, and it is loved by everyone then the AppGuilt will be a bit worse.
Now my ipad is pretty well loaded at the moment, every year or so I delete all the apps I don’t use, and then they all sneak back on when updates happen, or I am bored. Recently I have been installing apps all over the place… so, lets see what I feel guilty about on my ‘pad right now.
Final Touch – yes, gorgeous, beautiful, dazzling, but AudioMastering is so ingrained in my workflow I knew when I bought this it wasn’t going to get a lookin. Poor Final Touch
Chordion, Prochords, Chordbots, Chordy, EasyChords. I like to buy chord finders when I am going through a dry patch under the delusion that they will inspire me. They don’t. All these apps are pretty good in their own way, but I only use PolyChordPad. Sorry other chord apps.
TC-11, beauty, form and function. I cannot fault TC-11 but I can also not get a tune out of it. I keep it on my “SYNTHS I USE” page because i paid full price for it and it occasionally makes a cameo appearance in the bloopy sound effects on a track, but I have only ever used a couple of presets because there is way too much complexity in there for my tiny brain to cope with. It is a bit like hiring a nobel prize winning particle physicist to do your gardening (which, if you live in the south of England, you probably have done. Along with the Cardiac-Thorasic surgeon who cleans your loo. Yay European Union!).
The Unused Synths Folder: plenty to feel bad about here:
- I do some Beta testing for Zmors but that is the only time I use it.
- CrystalSynthXT is a seriously awesome piece of kit but doesn’t get used.
- Cassini occasionally gets used for pads but I only ever use presets on it and feel bad because I am aware of the mass of functionality I can’t be bothered to figure out.
- I gave Gestrument a rave review when it came out and used it for a few tracks but somehow never get round to playing it now.
- the big one, Nlog Pro, universally acclaimed, made by one of my favorite devs ever, deep and powerful. Also the first synth I bought on the ipad for more than $10 at a time when I couldn’t afford that. I seldom used it because it was a synth for synthesists and I didn’t understand it. I understand most of it now but have SO many other newer shinier synths.
The Modular Folder. I have never used Jasuto, Audulus or Modular. Ever. I just bought them (except for Audulus which I got a review copy of). All great synth but I am busy goddamn it, when do I have time to build patch on a modular synth??. Each is beautiful, deep, complex and unused.
The Classic Synth Folder. oh dear oh dear – iMS-20, iPolysix, iSEM, iMini. I guess I don’t like classic analog synths as much as I thought I did. or at all in fact. These babies all get opened every month or so because they were all quite pricey, and then closed again. GUILTY!!
Soundfont Pro and bs-16i – never used. if I want proper sounding instruments I use Thumbjam. I have tried to use bs-16i in the past once or twice. I got SF-Pro because I was drunk and it was new and have only opened it once. I wonder if it is any good…
Quite a lot of genuine old fashioned AppRegret living in my sampler folder – except for WerkBench which is a great app, well designed and executed, the devs do amazing videos which hold me spellbound, and yet there it sits, abandoned. Bad pantsofdeath! BAD!
My Midi folder – so much guilt in here it has congealed into a compulsive buying syndrome… I have wasted so much money on Midi sequencers that I have never used I am now forced to buy every one that comes out, in the hope that THIS one will kick start my midi sequencing ‘career’ and make the money I spent on the others worthwhile.
Thesys, StepPolyArp, Genome, mSequencer, midiSequencer, R960Seq, B-step… all perfectly good apps, all do essentially the same thing, WHY DO YOU KEEP BUYING THEM??? I bought both midiSequencer and R960Seq at the SAME TIME for goodness sakes!
Arpeggionome Pro, apparently that is a good one… SO glad I picked it up, must open that one day.
And then, lurking there because I couldn’t figure out where else to hide it is Lemur which I bought using wife logic. For those of you who do not know WifeLogic, it works like this
(from my Rugrets comics) . In short you convince yourself that buying something you don’t want/need because it is on sale is saving you money.
Apesoft Folder. Say no more.
The FX folder – so many quality Apps, so many expensive apps (and a lot of cheap ones), big names like Bias and StompBox. Yay. I use Turnado and AudioReverb. That’s it! I hate to think of all the whores and crack I could have bought…
and then finally we stumble into the “groovebox” pages and the big guilt creeps in
TNR-e – I paid full daft-price for this and so I force myself to open it every now and again but I should have known I wouldn’t use it because I never used….
Synergy Studio – a beautiful app, great functionality, much overlooked, good instruments, good FX (which I apparently bought ALL of when I was drunk. THIS IS A GOOD APP and I never use it because (wait for it) the grid was no shading/lines to show me where each beat begins and ends and apparently counting to 4 is beyond me.
Electrify/ENXT – both good apps, I would recommend them, really. Never use them though, and i think it is because it just takes me too long to do stuff.
Stroke Machine – You would think wouldn’t you, given my obsession with groove boxes, drum synthesis etc that I would be all over Stroke Machine, and I want to be, really I do, but something drives me back every time.
CoTracks – feel really bad about CoTracks – it seems like a fine App, and has so much built in, and the lovely Dev came and offered me a review copy and I have never managed to get into it enough to say anything about it. I am pretty sure it is a good app.
SunVox – I own sunvox on every platform and device I have, I think SunVox is an awesome powerhouse of an app, when I tinker about with it I am impressed, but again it takes too long to do things on it and apparently I have some sort of Musical ADHD because I cannot spent the time to use it. Another great app never used.
Gadget. Snapped this up in a hearbeat when it came out. Recommended it to everyone. Bought the gadget pants and tee shirt. Never used it for anything. Apparently I do not like the way songs are built up/created or something. Ho hum. Gadget makes me feel bad.